Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire: Why You May Not Feel “In the Mood” Until Intimacy Begins
By Rebecca Ginder, LCSW. Have you ever wondered why you rarely seem to be “in the mood” anymore? Maybe you love your partner. You still find them attractive. You enjoy sex once it gets started—but you rarely experience that sudden urge to initiate intimacy. This can be confusing, especially if you remember feeling more spontaneous […]
Why Do I Feel Guilty About Sex? Understanding Sexual Guilt
By Rebecca Ginder, LCSW. Have you ever felt guilty for wanting sex, enjoying sex, thinking about sex, or even talking about what you want? Maybe you were raised with messages that sex shouldn’t be discussed. Perhaps certain desires make you question yourself. You might feel uncomfortable asking a partner for what you enjoy, or experience […]
Why Do I Shut Down During Intimacy? Understanding the Freeze Response
By Rebecca Ginder, LCSW. Have you ever been in an intimate moment and suddenly felt disconnected? Maybe your mind went blank. Your body became tense. You stopped feeling present, found it difficult to communicate what you wanted, or simply wanted the moment to be over—even though you couldn’t fully explain why. For some people, this […]
What Happens in Sex Therapy? What to Expect From Your First Session
By Rebecca Ginder, LCSW. Initiating sex can feel surprisingly vulnerable. If you’ve been thinking about seeing a sex therapist, you may have a lot of questions about what actually happens during a session. Will you have to talk about every detail of your sex life? Will your partner need to attend? What if you’re embarrassed? […]
Initiating Sex Without Fear of Rejection
By Rebecca Ginder, LCSW. Initiating sex can feel surprisingly vulnerable. Even in a loving, committed relationship, making the first move means putting yourself out there. You’re expressing desire and asking your partner to meet you in an intimate space—and there’s always a possibility that they may not be interested at that moment. For some people, […]
Why Do I Have Trouble Reaching Orgasm? Understanding the Emotional Side of Orgasm
By Rebecca Ginder, LCSW. If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I orgasm?” or found that reaching orgasm seems much easier for your partner than it does for you, you’re certainly not the only person asking that question. Difficulty reaching orgasm is a common sexual concern, yet many people hesitate to talk about it. You might feel embarrassed, […]
Why Emotional Intimacy Is the Foundation of a Great Sex Life
By Rebecca Ginder, LCSW., Certified Sex Therapist When people think about improving their sex life, they often focus on physical techniques, frequency, or finding ways to increase desire. While those things can be important, one of the most powerful factors influencing sexual satisfaction isn’t physical at all. It’s emotional intimacy. In my work as a sex […]
How to Communicate Sexual Needs Without Feeling Awkward
By Rebecca Ginder, LCSW., Certified Sex Therapist Talking about sex can feel surprisingly difficult—even with someone you deeply love and trust. Many people find it easier to discuss finances, parenting, or work stress than to talk openly about their sexual needs. They worry about hurting their partner’s feelings, sounding demanding, being misunderstood, or simply feeling […]
Navigating Intimacy After Betrayal: Can You Rebuild Trust and Desire?
By Rebecca Ginder, Licensed Sex Therapist Few things impact a relationship more deeply than betrayal. Whether it’s infidelity, emotional cheating, broken promises, or breaches of trust, the aftermath can feel like everything you once knew has been turned upside down. For many couples, one of the hardest questions that follows is: Can we ever be close […]
Managing Performance Anxiety and Building Confidence
Hi, I’m Rebecca Ginder, a licensed sex therapist. Performance anxiety is something I see often in my work with individuals and couples, and it’s more common than you might think. If you’re experiencing it, know that you’re not alone—and more importantly, it’s something you can overcome. Performance anxiety doesn’t just affect what happens in the […]