Some relationship problems stem from misconceptions about maturity. The question of maturity and “who is the matured one” always manages to pop its head whenever a conflict arises and it becomes a big factor to a relationship’s survival. However, a lot of people have misapprehensions about it and the role it plays in a relationship.
Here are some of the biggest myths about maturity in a relationship:
Having more relationships make you more mature. Subconsciously, people equate their number of relationships with maturity. It’s ridiculous how they think “one relationship is equivalent to X number of maturity points.” A relationship doesn’t make you more mature, no matter how long it lasted. In fact, having (for example) ten relationships in two years isn’t testament to your maturity. In fact, it disproves it as it shows your inability to maintain them. The excuse of being unlucky and picking the wrong ones can only be acceptable for so long. Eventually, you may have to deal with your own issues which lead to your inability to sustain relationships.
Being single for a long time means you’re not mature enough for a relationship. This is just laughable and it’s funny how people assume that being in a relationship is, once again, a sign of maturity. Don’t put all single people in a box and categorize them as being unwanted. Perhaps they know what they want in a relationship and they still haven’t found the right one but when they do, it will be a love story for the ages.
Maturity means being able to handle a “friends-with-benefits” relationship. This is such a cliché among people who just want to have someone they want to have sex with. Maturity entails being able to control your emotions, not being emotionless. Furthermore, you might be hurting the person you’re having this type of relationship with. For all you know, that person feels something for you and is hoping, waiting that you would reciprocate.
Cutting off ties with your ex is immature. You are not obliged to be friends with your ex. It’s understandable if you won’t want to see them for a while because seeing or speaking to them might bring up emotions which would prevent you from moving on. But if you happen to be in the same workplace, you should at least be amicable.
Ultimately, maturity means being aware of yourself and your emotions. It also involves knowing how to control your actions with regards to your feelings. It’s ok to be hurt, just don’t go around hurting others.
Relationships are delicate and whenever you feel you’re going through a rough patch as a couple or as an individual, you may need professional help to guide you through troubling times. Rebecca Ginder, one of South Florida’s top therapists has plenty of expertise in this field. Find out how she can help you with your personal and interpersonal issues. Click here to set an appointment with Rebecca Ginder.